Here's exactly all you need to know. Lauren, the very special woman who allowed me inside her smashingly rare heart and allowed me to love her and who took my own heart and gently holds pieces of it now somewhere far away in a land down under is the only reason I actually participated in Spencer's Burning Man installation. Not making that up or exaggerating. I'd have slept right through the entire thing without her and I will never forget her fierce sweetness, her deep generosity, nor her laugh. God, her laugh. She laughs like I laugh. It's infectious.
I can easily find myself in this video, but that's not why I'm sharing it with all of you. I'm sharing it because I can't even believe it happened, quite honestly. Lauren was a fellow carrot. What I did not really understand is that she is also an award-winning filmmaker. She asked if she could come along with me that morning and I was so glad that I said, "YES!" because Lauren got my sleepy naked butt out of bed and actually to the check-in in time to get a GOLDEN TICKET. No, really. I told you. I was snoozing away not even aware that my little alarm was buzzing. I needed a Nakedjen Wrangler that day (yes, this is a real job, just ask Michelle!) and Lauren, who obviously had her own agenda took to the task as if she's been wrangling naked divas her entire life (turns out she has!).
I honestly had no expectations of what Lauren might do with the footage she captured that morning. In fact, I didn't really even have more than a fleeting glance at it afterwards, but was just so grateful, as I said, that she had been willing to go with me because, duh, I would have missed the whole thing!
Then this arrived late last week and I burst into tears. I don't expect you to burst into tears, of course, because it wasn't your experience. I just would not be me, if I did not bring this around full circle and share it with all of you.
I journeyed into the Black Rock Desert because of Spencer Tunick, it's true. That was my own very selfish reason. What I was given while I was there, though, I am still trying to sort out how to share in words. The dust has them stuck deep in my throat.
My heart knows and now beats even more loudly and further outside of my chest than it ever has before.
That may be all that really matters.